Okay... so boys... WHEW... they are just crazy. How do you know what the rules are when they have changed so drasticly in 15 years? Did I just say that, 15 YEARS??? YIKES! I have been told that I am all heart, that I just put it out there. I want to believe that connections happen because they are supposed to, that your heart is the measure at which you live life. SURE it gets hurt, bruised, bounced and twisted, that's the price of the hold your breath, butterflies at the site of him, I want to grab ahold and never let go kinda feeling, isn't it?
Who wants BLAH BLAH BLAH, sorry Kesha... nothing against your rocking song... A stimulated mind, honest feelings - no matter what and your heart is what has to be in a relationship , right?
I am all about the questions today - apparently. I had a great conversation with my Kerstin... she understands my quirks and sputters. Strength I am learning comes from patience and understanding. The best I can do, is base decisions on what is true today! My core was shaken by my divorce. When you are with someone that long you form ideas together and when you seperate your decision making process and choices changes. Especially when it is not a gradual departure.
When I left, I LEFT... and though we had to interact during our legal proceedings I was so disconnected from his reality. This was difficult because I became used to not interacting with him and my stress level reduced. It wasn't my reality anymore and it became more intolerable to deal with him when speaking with him and I am sure it was the same on his end.
What I want to share, I LOVE a lot of things, even with the pain of loss, change and growth that am experiencing. I see opportunity for happiness, but it is not without work nor without identifying those things that are inhibiting my development.
Value those people and things that support you! NUTURE THEM!
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