Well... this weekend was... not as expected. I went to Costco today and saw this wonderfully cute couple in the parking lot. They purchased matching kayaks! They were enjoying thoroughly the trial of strapping them into their truck to take home. What was even more endearing, the wife told the husband to ask if I was okay unloading some stuff out of my car. He didn't even bat an eye to come over and help me.
My last roommate, when asked to help move my parents, declined. Cheap shot on my part to compare, except I mention it because it was one of those moments when you comtemplate if the action is acceptable. It wasn't. My parents are those people that you can't help but appreciate, cherish and want to see again. YES, I am biased, but they are.
I was able to spend some time recently with a friend that reminded me that there are things worth cherishing and working for. Meaning, recognize and appreciate traits in those around you that you value. Thank you to my friend for reminding me that I am okay... and maybe even a little fun! Our self confidence is precious isn't it! It can be so delicate, yet when ignited it can be our most powerful asset.
People can often criticize behavior that they don't understand or that they desire to have themselves. I pose a challenge to those that wish to accept, recognize a behavior that you admire and compliment the person you notice it in. It will do wonders for yourself and them!
Thank you friend, I plan to always cherish your presence.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Cupids Road Kill
The other day... saw the Last Roommate (aka ex-husband). Had to meet him at the bank to cash a check in both our names. IT SUCKED!!! I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to interact with him, I didn't want to talk to him... infact, just doing those things frustrates me. THAT is the term by the way frustrates me. It is in fact true that seeing him is painful - I admit that - we spent 15 years together, but at this point... what is the point of putting myself through that. We are not married, we are not involved and frankly... after our interactions of the the past year, I don't like him right now. Most divorced people say that this part heals, you get over it and are able to communicate down the road... As they say time heals everything. Well, I am pissed off right now. I had to go to court and WASTE thousands of dollars for NOTHING... anyone out there that thinks that divorce lawyers/attorneys or whatever are there to protect you, THEY AREN'T! I will have to blog about that another day! Until then... my advice... when you are done... YOU'RE DONE! There is no reason to create interaction with your "last roommate" - it's painful and it doesn't do any good for your growth.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Cupid's Road Kill
Well today is the 1 year anniversary of my Grandmother's passing. I think we can learn a lot from those around us. She was a strong woman and remains that way in my mind. I can hear her voice in my head when I begin any sort of downward spiral with a negative thought telling me to get off my "butt". Militza Shoshin, her name even sounds like a motivation to not mess with her. My lingering thought - nature or nuture, because she was a strong woman and through adverse environmental threats had a will like none other (except mom) -for this I hope I have the same "will". I have been told I am strong willed (no snickering) and can only believe with the guidance and pushing : ) of my mother, father and grandmother that I will remain strong when faced with one of life's challenges (example - divorce).
I know that my Grandmother is looking on me today shaking her head wishing I wouldn't have to endure any pain, just as my heart goes to those who have braved divorce before me and after. In the same respect she is telling me to eat my vegetables, be healthy don't be lazy and remember I love you. I can hear her call me by my nickname Katusha telling me to pick myself up and move on. Simple advice, but it rings true to most of life's challenges doesn't it. All of this reminds me that I am fortunate to have a family that cares.
It is impressive to know that people before you have endured whatever life threw at them. At the same time it is difficult to truly learn and understand thoroughly what knowledge they impart to us about the lessons they learned. We truly have to walk a mile in the shoes of each experience to appreciate the gravity and to learn and grow from the life lesson.
To my Grandmother I would like to say cheers! You have monumentally influenced my life and I know you would gain pleasure knowing that I can still hear your voice in my head telling me what to do and not to do : )! I love you.
.
I know that my Grandmother is looking on me today shaking her head wishing I wouldn't have to endure any pain, just as my heart goes to those who have braved divorce before me and after. In the same respect she is telling me to eat my vegetables, be healthy don't be lazy and remember I love you. I can hear her call me by my nickname Katusha telling me to pick myself up and move on. Simple advice, but it rings true to most of life's challenges doesn't it. All of this reminds me that I am fortunate to have a family that cares.
It is impressive to know that people before you have endured whatever life threw at them. At the same time it is difficult to truly learn and understand thoroughly what knowledge they impart to us about the lessons they learned. We truly have to walk a mile in the shoes of each experience to appreciate the gravity and to learn and grow from the life lesson.
To my Grandmother I would like to say cheers! You have monumentally influenced my life and I know you would gain pleasure knowing that I can still hear your voice in my head telling me what to do and not to do : )! I love you.
.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Cupids Road Kill
Okay... so today I had to go to my old house... and pick up paint cans and some random "stuff" that my last roomate (soon to be ex-husband) didn't want to remove. Yeah thats right, he didn't feel like it... NOT actually internalizing that I haven't been there for 9 months...
Now it isn't the act of picking up the random junk - I had great friends to help.
It is that he is still trying to control the situation. How do we both move past the the pratices that brought us to our divorce in the first place. The point is the ridiculousness of having his attorney email me "organizing" me to come and pick up paint cans, becuase he doesn't want to ... I can't imagine what we both spent financially for our attorneys to email and forward our communication.
CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHY TWO GROWN PROFESSIONAL ADULTS COMMUNICATE LIKE THIS? and why are the people who feed on the scraps of these arguments and charge for it. I understand why attorneys exist, but for a situation like ours - limited assets and no children, it should be easy.
Well thanks to my girlfriends who helped me out... I can only say that going to sleep tonight, I am glad this soon will come to an end.
Now it isn't the act of picking up the random junk - I had great friends to help.
It is that he is still trying to control the situation. How do we both move past the the pratices that brought us to our divorce in the first place. The point is the ridiculousness of having his attorney email me "organizing" me to come and pick up paint cans, becuase he doesn't want to ... I can't imagine what we both spent financially for our attorneys to email and forward our communication.
CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHY TWO GROWN PROFESSIONAL ADULTS COMMUNICATE LIKE THIS? and why are the people who feed on the scraps of these arguments and charge for it. I understand why attorneys exist, but for a situation like ours - limited assets and no children, it should be easy.
Well thanks to my girlfriends who helped me out... I can only say that going to sleep tonight, I am glad this soon will come to an end.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Cupid's Bent Arrow
Saturday, December 12
Decided to start writing about my divorce process... One thing I have chosen to change.. the term in which we all have accustomed to hearing... "Ex-husband"... I refer to my soon to be ex-husband as my last roommate. He was in fact my live-in boyfriend for much longer than the title of husband. I want a show of hands... who HATES the complications that the divorce process can bring.
I remember speaking to my attorney in the beginning and totally approaching this like a woman would, with feelings. Her comment to me, think of this like a business contract... really... REALLY... where was that in wedding manual. SUCH CRAP. So ladies, I am not a marriage hater, nor man hater - I love men... have you seen MATT DAMON! But my point is, even though we are supposed to be married for love, we divorce by way of business savviness?
Just as an add... you need to be savvy with your attorney as well! There are a few things I am happy with and a few things I am not... but I guess we call that a learning curve.
Feel free to add your comments!!!
Decided to start writing about my divorce process... One thing I have chosen to change.. the term in which we all have accustomed to hearing... "Ex-husband"... I refer to my soon to be ex-husband as my last roommate. He was in fact my live-in boyfriend for much longer than the title of husband. I want a show of hands... who HATES the complications that the divorce process can bring.
I remember speaking to my attorney in the beginning and totally approaching this like a woman would, with feelings. Her comment to me, think of this like a business contract... really... REALLY... where was that in wedding manual. SUCH CRAP. So ladies, I am not a marriage hater, nor man hater - I love men... have you seen MATT DAMON! But my point is, even though we are supposed to be married for love, we divorce by way of business savviness?
Just as an add... you need to be savvy with your attorney as well! There are a few things I am happy with and a few things I am not... but I guess we call that a learning curve.
Feel free to add your comments!!!
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