Dating Decoder Ring!

PHEW... it is funny because sometimes the people in our lives can surprise us as to how much they really KNOW us. I was talking to my BFF the other day about BOYS : ) and I was rambling a mile a minute and she piped in, as she so lovingly does, and tells me... THERE IS NO DATING DECODER RING there is no secret lover lingo! Well I laughed, how appropriate for the over analytical mind of a woman. It's is not like there is a text book about dating, the rules and what applies to each of us and what doesn't.
Sure there are books, articles, DVDs, coachs, websites and "advice". But NO ONE is you... OTHER THAN YOU! Isn't that cool in its self. We are all so different and have different emotions. It is what makes each of us so cool.
Have to be honest, I would be the first in line if I could buy like 20 boxes of All Bran cereal if there was a DATING DECODER RING!!! xoxo

Electronic Dialect!

In this world of the electonic dialect... WHO HAS CONVERSATIONS? With cell phone plans that include data, that include unlimited texting, in a world of social media... WHO HAS CONVERSATIONS? Isn't it cute how people can ramble off two or three sentences of pure genius... NOT... anyone can do that! Including me : )
Luckily... there are those who still enjoy the gift of gab and the content of these conversations cannot be packaged into acronyms that have begun to replace the english language... FYI.
Believe me when I say I have fallen prey to the text messages of the world and touch base comments on facebook friend photos. It will never replace my urge to break bread with a friend and discuss the latest and greatest that day, week, month or year.
This interaction is so important when you deal with people and such an important part of enjoying them. I once heard a quoted that echoed, "each person you meet, has something to teach you." TRUE TRUE TRUE...

Girls, Girls... Women

It is the day in which we all cherish the role and the women who are responsible for each and everyone of us. Good, bad or indifferent, we cannot deny their role. I feel very lucky, no blessed, to have the Mother that I do. She is woman many should strive to be.
A while ago I had two additional woman in my life, simply put, they pale in comparison. The stride of a woman and mother has to be gentle, dynamic, loving and they must possess strength, no matter what faces them.
It is hard to imagine myself as a woman, not only because I know I have so much to learn but becuase it is a responsibility. The meaning of which changes all the time for each of us. What does it mean to be a woman and a mother, a woman and a leader, a woman and a professional, a woman and a partner, a woman and single. Our roles are special and unique. I wish each of you a very special day.

A Mother's glance
A Mother's embrace
Those arms wrapped tightly
To make us feel safe
No other stare can stop us in stride
No others love gives us more pride
Next to us in life
Next to us in our hearts
A Mother's love never to part.
~ By Andrinna

Boys, Boys, Boys... Men?

Well who woulda thunk it... right... there's bad boys, there's good boys, there's socially stunted boys, there are unavailable boys and then there is the elusive MAN of your dreams. In my case... Matt Damon... or so I have coined him... Mattie. Loves his wife and family, smart, dedicated to his craft, good friend, well spoken, sense of humor... oh the list keeps going. No offense boys, but unless you just played opposite Morgan Freeman with a South African accent in Invictus... you're not quite MATTIE!
I like to think there is a real version of a knight in shining armor (joking aside about Mattie), but no luck YET! I have faith, that the right one is out there and of course, I just may be forced to kiss a few frogs to find him.
Let's look at things from a positive stand point - there are so many things that are fun about the male friends us girls have... HUMOR is a big one for me, anyone can make you feel like crap, but the ones that can make you laugh, RARE!!! and I mean the ones that truly make your side hurt from laughing so hard. The ones that help you when you need it whether that is lending a hand or holding it, so kind and they remind you of chivalry. Or how about the ones that make you think and don't let you get lazy and focus on the bad things, they sort of move your forward even if you are kicking and screaming... I ALWAYS appreciate that! Then there are the ones that call you on your crap, the ones that don't let you get away with status quo, those are the ones that will be there for the long haul.
So what about the elusive man, the one you hold onto, what does he have? He has your heart, mind and soul and does everything to earn, protect and cherish it. There is no one size fits all, there is the one that feels right to you. The trick is (I think) you have to do the same for him.

Tears fall... but I just love.... LOVE

Well... why is it that stupid relationship articles tell you never to discuss your relationship - shouldn't it be enjoyed. Why is it that the women that care about themselves more than their partners, are more desirable - shouldn't you want the best for those you care about. Why is it that to the heart hurts more at night when you are just about to close your eyes to rest from the trials of your day. Why is it that the tears I shed are for a partner I don't have or ever did.
I loved my husband, he was so inviting when we first met. We took art class together, we shared secrets, gazed at the stars togeter, we dreamt of our future, the home we would share, our future children and the romance of forever being in love.
I don't think that love dies, when your heart is prone to be on fire - it's like when you are around a camp fire, it gets cold when it's not taken care of or watched carefully. But when you take care of it, when you fuel it, when you enjoy it... you can't help but gather around it, feel the building warmth of it and you are so easily able to enjoy it.
To those who doubt... I can't tell you to believe, all you really have to think about.. is... is it possible?

WOW... is change... or growth always this hard?!

Okay... so boys... WHEW... they are just crazy. How do you know what the rules are when they have changed so drasticly in 15 years? Did I just say that, 15 YEARS??? YIKES! I have been told that I am all heart, that I just put it out there. I want to believe that connections happen because they are supposed to, that your heart is the measure at which you live life. SURE it gets hurt, bruised, bounced and twisted, that's the price of the hold your breath, butterflies at the site of him, I want to grab ahold and never let go kinda feeling, isn't it?
Who wants BLAH BLAH BLAH, sorry Kesha... nothing against your rocking song... A stimulated mind, honest feelings - no matter what and your heart is what has to be in a relationship , right?
I am all about the questions today - apparently. I had a great conversation with my Kerstin... she understands my quirks and sputters. Strength I am learning comes from patience and understanding. The best I can do, is base decisions on what is true today! My core was shaken by my divorce. When you are with someone that long you form ideas together and when you seperate your decision making process and choices changes. Especially when it is not a gradual departure.
When I left, I LEFT... and though we had to interact during our legal proceedings I was so disconnected from his reality. This was difficult because I became used to not interacting with him and my stress level reduced. It wasn't my reality anymore and it became more intolerable to deal with him when speaking with him and I am sure it was the same on his end.
What I want to share, I LOVE a lot of things, even with the pain of loss, change and growth that am experiencing. I see opportunity for happiness, but it is not without work nor without identifying those things that are inhibiting my development.
Value those people and things that support you! NUTURE THEM!

There are joys in EVERDAY LIFE!

Well... this weekend was... not as expected. I went to Costco today and saw this wonderfully cute couple in the parking lot. They purchased matching kayaks! They were enjoying thoroughly the trial of strapping them into their truck to take home. What was even more endearing, the wife told the husband to ask if I was okay unloading some stuff out of my car. He didn't even bat an eye to come over and help me.

My last roommate, when asked to help move my parents, declined. Cheap shot on my part to compare, except I mention it because it was one of those moments when you comtemplate if the action is acceptable. It wasn't. My parents are those people that you can't help but appreciate, cherish and want to see again. YES, I am biased, but they are.

I was able to spend some time recently with a friend that reminded me that there are things worth cherishing and working for. Meaning, recognize and appreciate traits in those around you that you value. Thank you to my friend for reminding me that I am okay... and maybe even a little fun! Our self confidence is precious isn't it! It can be so delicate, yet when ignited it can be our most powerful asset.

People can often criticize behavior that they don't understand or that they desire to have themselves. I pose a challenge to those that wish to accept, recognize a behavior that you admire and compliment the person you notice it in. It will do wonders for yourself and them!

Thank you friend, I plan to always cherish your presence.